Reflections on Rock (part 1)
Reader, last Friday I went to see the Rakes at the Windmill in Brixton.
Now, I've not really got any strong feelings either way about the Rakes. Don't like 'em, don't hate 'em. To be honest, whilst they were performing, I was too busy getting up to mischief. Heard of a band called The Others? No, frankly neither had I until Friday, but whilst the Rakes were performing their own particular brand of take-it-or-leave-it guitar music, I got chatting to a member of The Others. He is either the person on the left or the person on the right below:
See, one of them is Johnny out The Others, the other is Robert Smith out The Cure, but it's quite a task to work out which is which, so similar are their appearances. You'd think with such an uncanny resemblance between the two, there'd be some element of design on the part of the younger. However, when I approached Johnny to congratulate him on his uncanny simulation of old Bob, he didn't want to know. He flat denied any similarity. In fact, he put on such a performance that you'd think I'd told him he resembled one of The Levellers.
See, Johnny out The Others is a twat. Not just a twat - if there were a competition to find the most utterly ridiculous cunt in London, Jonny could quite fairly fancy his chances. Instead of responding to my gentle joshing with polite good humour, Jonny reacted with adolescent petulance the likes of which I've not seen since secondary school. He was a character study in affected teenage oddness and laboured weirdness, utterly preposterous and cringeworthy in every way. If he'd been fourteen, I would have been willing to let it go, but in the circumstances, I pursued his objections to my observation for a good ten minutes. Eventually he flounced off in a patchouly strop.
Twenty minutes earlier, I'd met Les out of dreary 90's social indie combo Carter USM. Although I wasn't a fan of his music, I said hello and he was utterly charming in response. He was every inch the elder statesman, and only too happy to chat. (His girlfriend, on the other hand, was fearsome, but more on that in part 2). There is certainly a lesson for Jonny to learn from our Les. But then there's a lesson for all of us to learn...
Despite the fact that I've never heard of The Others, I'm told they have a strong following. Just look at some of the quotes - "Britains most worshipped new band"; "transcending the rules to create something extraordinary"; "music that inspires you and can change your life". Pretty strong stuff, eh? Thing is, I've not heard the band, but I'm willing to gamble at least three of my limbs that they produce anodyne, gutless, derivative shite. If I'm wrong, may my credibility desert me. I'm puttting it on the line here - I honestly don't need to listen to this band to write off their music without a second thought.
How can I be so sure? Well I've met the cunt for one. But The Others are simply another in a long line of bands specialising in anodyne, gutless, derivative shite for audiences that demand nothing less. Just who are we letting get ahead here?! What do these people stand for? Why are we giving them our money?! What have they got to say for themselves?!
And more pointedly, what does it say about us? How can we sleep at night knowing that cunts like Jonny are enjoying moderate success? We really should be ashamed of ourselves.
Now, I've not really got any strong feelings either way about the Rakes. Don't like 'em, don't hate 'em. To be honest, whilst they were performing, I was too busy getting up to mischief. Heard of a band called The Others? No, frankly neither had I until Friday, but whilst the Rakes were performing their own particular brand of take-it-or-leave-it guitar music, I got chatting to a member of The Others. He is either the person on the left or the person on the right below:
See, one of them is Johnny out The Others, the other is Robert Smith out The Cure, but it's quite a task to work out which is which, so similar are their appearances. You'd think with such an uncanny resemblance between the two, there'd be some element of design on the part of the younger. However, when I approached Johnny to congratulate him on his uncanny simulation of old Bob, he didn't want to know. He flat denied any similarity. In fact, he put on such a performance that you'd think I'd told him he resembled one of The Levellers.
See, Johnny out The Others is a twat. Not just a twat - if there were a competition to find the most utterly ridiculous cunt in London, Jonny could quite fairly fancy his chances. Instead of responding to my gentle joshing with polite good humour, Jonny reacted with adolescent petulance the likes of which I've not seen since secondary school. He was a character study in affected teenage oddness and laboured weirdness, utterly preposterous and cringeworthy in every way. If he'd been fourteen, I would have been willing to let it go, but in the circumstances, I pursued his objections to my observation for a good ten minutes. Eventually he flounced off in a patchouly strop.
Twenty minutes earlier, I'd met Les out of dreary 90's social indie combo Carter USM. Although I wasn't a fan of his music, I said hello and he was utterly charming in response. He was every inch the elder statesman, and only too happy to chat. (His girlfriend, on the other hand, was fearsome, but more on that in part 2). There is certainly a lesson for Jonny to learn from our Les. But then there's a lesson for all of us to learn...
Despite the fact that I've never heard of The Others, I'm told they have a strong following. Just look at some of the quotes - "Britains most worshipped new band"; "transcending the rules to create something extraordinary"; "music that inspires you and can change your life". Pretty strong stuff, eh? Thing is, I've not heard the band, but I'm willing to gamble at least three of my limbs that they produce anodyne, gutless, derivative shite. If I'm wrong, may my credibility desert me. I'm puttting it on the line here - I honestly don't need to listen to this band to write off their music without a second thought.
How can I be so sure? Well I've met the cunt for one. But The Others are simply another in a long line of bands specialising in anodyne, gutless, derivative shite for audiences that demand nothing less. Just who are we letting get ahead here?! What do these people stand for? Why are we giving them our money?! What have they got to say for themselves?!
And more pointedly, what does it say about us? How can we sleep at night knowing that cunts like Jonny are enjoying moderate success? We really should be ashamed of ourselves.
posted by Stephen Beckett at 8:47 AM
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